Understand Why

As I was getting ready to right this long overdue update I kept chanting to myself, "You have to be upbeat. Keep it happy." I am hopeful that I can do this but it has been a trying few months.
The Leg
I try to pretend that I am normal and have not had major problems with my leg. I guess I am still in a bit of denial about my cancer, kind of weird, I know. On Sebastian's birthday I became extremely ill. So ill, that he had to hold me up in the shower and wash me while I cried from the pain. My leg had yet another flair up of Cellulitis. I did not ever want to revisit being that ill but it came. I started antibiotics and was hoping to be on the road to wellness. It seemed like that was the case when I started feeling ill again on Halloween night. I tried to sleep it off, but landed back at the clinic with a recurrence of Cellulitis. This happened once more before my trip to Utah. While home for my Pre-Christmas visit, I saw my doctor. He was so beyond fantastic to me. He reassured me and told me he was willing to do anything I needed until I was up and going at my new job and had a doctor here in North Dakota. He gave me a prescription with refills and said call and he would renew or prescribe more meds as necessary. It was a huge weight off of my shoulders. Then I forgot the prescription on the kitchen table the day I flew back to Winnipeg. I called my Dad the next day and begged him to get it off to me just in case. I had been through this endless pain and frustration of a broken leg and I liked having the 45 day supply of meds. Well Christmas and Boxing Day came, New Years was on there and the snail like postal system continued to frustrate me. I was fine until January 2nd. Within an hour I went from feeling so-so to laying in my bed shivering and praying to feel better. Back to being as ill as I was in October. Sebastian was ready to take me back to the clinic but I knew I had meds somewhere between here and Utah so I refused. I guess I became delirious that evening and Sebastian claims he now has an idea of what drunk Jamie may look like. We got the fever to break before bedtime and my Mother-in-law stayed home to ensure I was OK the next morning. The meds came at Noon and I was feeling better by dinnertime. All this has led to such a frustration of WHY?! I know in life we are left with a big question mark over our heads asking what can I do and why is this happening. I don't have the answer, but I have hope. I received a priesthood blessing from the missionaries (That was a trip, we had to consecrate the oil and the whole bit) and I have prayed to be healed without further surgery. I just got healed up from my surgeries in 2010. I also had some very spiritual experiences when I was so very ill and laying in bed. I guess I am just looking for meaning in all of this.
The Job
First of all, I am used to being busy, very busy. This waiting around has been hard but part of me (Back to the Why question) thinks the waiting has been by divine design while I had this trouble with my leg. I took my National Exam the morning of my 3rd flair up with the leg, fever and all. This test has 200 questions with 40 of those being practice questions for future exams (You don't know which ones). So it is scored out of 160. I got 134 and passed with flying colors. I needed to score a minimum of 91 to pass. My hard work paid off. Then it has been more of the waiting. But I know for a fact that I will be licensed on February 1st. I have started to try and find a place to live in North Dakota, hard when I am up here in Winnipeg, but I have faith that it will all work out. I know Heavenly Father brought me here and will put me in path He has designed for me. I just keep moving forward. And I guess then I will rejoin the working class and move forward. I am looking forward to be back to a wage earner, it has been 2 years. But I am scared to death about all the responsibilities of my new job.
Trip Home
I got to come home to Utah to visit in December. I was so excited to see my family and spend time with them. It was mire difficult then I had expected. It is said that you can't go home and I learned the meaning of this. I had been gone for 3 1/2 months and many things were different and I did not feel I had a place there like I did before. It was weird. I went through a bit of that when I came home from Salt Lake after the whole cancer thing, but not like this. I will always love my family, that will never change. But in the process of this trip, I realized that my family is Sebastian. I missed him so much and wished he was there sharing experiences with me. I did not see as many people as I wanted to or spend as much time as I would have liked, but I am glad I made the trip. The night before I left we had kind of a family "Christmas Party". It was fun and I hope it is something we will do again.
Sebastian and I
Sebastian and I are doing well. We hit our little rocks in the road but we are overcoming and growing together. We have made a goal to be sealed in the St. George Temple this year. That will mean a few milestones for Sebastian, Melchizedek Priesthood, Endowments, but we are ready and moving forward. We are liking the extra time together but realize that is soon coming to an end. It will be hard being apart during the week but we know it is only temporary and soon we will be on the other side of yet another hurdle. In the pictures you will see one of us out to eat. That was us ditching the Stake New Years Eve party. We showed up and there was no where to sit, weird music being played , and Filipino food that we were not big fans of so we snuck out and went to Applebee's. Yet another memory we have made together. It is nice to know that we are accomplishing our goals and moving over the many hurdles that we have encountered. I know it will keep going but we are up to the challenge.
So my toast for the New Year is Health, Strength, Understanding, and Faith to bless us all as we move forward on our journeys this year. We may not always understand why, but we can be assured that there is a Divine Design that will lead us into great paths if we allow Him to do so. Happy New Year!